My third week of attachment just ended, another five more to go. been a tiring 3 weeks, reason being, work starts at 8, i gotta take the company bus at 720 and i gotta be up by 620 or so. working life is so screwed up, wake up, off to work, knock off then its night and hours before the next day begins, so mundane and routine. i cant imagine myself in this kinda lifestyle. anyway, work is really great on the contrary, my colleagues are very nice to me, work is fun, interesting but there are long waiting hours in between which can be killed by watching South Park or going through tons of movies in my supervisors 500gig hard disk, sweet. and i just got my paycheck this noon. amount is pathetic but its allowance, not salary so no complains. at least i'm enjoying myself.

there's something thats brooding in my house that really irks me, and that is the lack of wisdom. i know i may sound harsh, trying to judge like a professor but its a crisis going on in my house. i say crisis as in, real crisis. my family members have some problem using their brain to assess circumstances and situations. imagine this, my dad comes home moody and disgruntled starts quarrelling with my mom. yada-yada-yada. atmosphere is fucking tensed like a time bomb's bout to detonate. then dinner time comes and my mom asks my brother to help with the setting of the table. he's glued to the computer, first call no response, second no response, even more hypnotised. third call all hell breaks loose, mom starts losing control and screams. brother goes defensive and yells back, dad gets pissed and yells even louder. 3 idiots yelling across the house, not much of a crisis but if it happens every other day, then its a fucking crisis. i admit i can get involved too but as much as i want to, i try my best to stay clear. measure up the situation, check of signs of distress then act, either to shut up and act retard or to get involved. well, that's just me after maturing from an angst-filled teenager to a more mature teenager i'd say.

time is never a stroll, its always on the move, so eager to dash across that bustling road, ignoring the dangers that it can pose. so real but always disregarded by all of us. we know the consequences, we know the possible worst case scenarios but we so blatantly want to commit that mistake of poor time management or just loathing around, wasting time. i wont judge cuz i fall under that inevitable category of mistake makers so i just encourage all to plan wisely not for yourself but for the others that will get affected too.

after not seeing her for such a long time, there's this sick feeling unnerving inside me. ever since i started attachment and she started work, everything wasn't going fine. now that she stopped work temporarily, situations are not improving as well. i wake up early, drops her a message around 12 noon and round 130 she'll say she just got up, then i wont hear from her that much cuz she's doing god-knows-what at home. then finally i knock off feeling tired as night draws but she gets more energetic. i'll collapse on bed near 11 and that's where our relationship's going. no more calls, just one message to bid good night, an 'i love you' and that's it, next day, almost the same events happen. getting 6 to 7 messages from her in one single go is almost impossible when i'm at work, unless she is totally bored dead. we still meet up, go for dinner, hug and stuff but i dont feel complete. its not entirely her fault too, i have a role to play too and maybe i'm not playing it right. it takes two hands to clap. i'm being very honest right now. i dont mean to hurt but whatever that's happening, we have to get over it fast. Period.

Surf

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